Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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