They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
