Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
