Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
