in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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