his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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