i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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