that's an acceptable place to lick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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