Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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