Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
