i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
