Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
