After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
