So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
