It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
