There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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