is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You need Xanax blowdarts
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
