were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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