i think my tv is drunk
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
