cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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