every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
