guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
