nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
