We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
