Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i think i just lost a toe
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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