lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
