erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Operation Purity has been aborted
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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