If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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