you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
