lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize