you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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