That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
