he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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