if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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