He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
