Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
