I am puke
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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