I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
