what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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