my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
