Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Randomize
