How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need to sanitize my soul.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
