whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
