Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
