Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
