Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
