two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
