life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
