Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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