I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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