I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dignity is for republicans.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
