So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
