The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
