remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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