is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
