A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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