I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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