imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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