I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
