it's great music for shaving your balls
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
