I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize