Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
